Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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