i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
