And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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