GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
nutella sex= disaster
my shit smells like andre
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
