i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
