Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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