perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
what day is it and did you see me today?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
