the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
