Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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