Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
