dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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