Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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