went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
