I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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