Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
