Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
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i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
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You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
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