mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
