I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize