Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
