Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
