Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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