possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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