Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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