Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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