I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize