Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
