you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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