just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
