the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize