I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
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I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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