I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We have started to decorate penises.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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