if you like me you must not know who I am
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
