you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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