We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
