the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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