it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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