Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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