Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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