I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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