we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
