Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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