Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
