We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
