I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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