I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
