At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
