Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
