i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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