He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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