White coat. Heels.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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