oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
