It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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