I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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