I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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