just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize