Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
