So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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