Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
