I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize