I wannas sexs uuuuu
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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