Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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