Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
